A little Me

needs or wants or ....

2012-01-07T01:14:00.000+08:00


My lappie :(

Haih. I am stuck, really don't feel like buying a new laptop. This laptop served me so well.. since 2006 till now, that is 6years of service and everything is still working well, except for that! Le sigh.

There's so much things i want, but do i truly need them? I prefer to go travelling. This year, i want to get my diving license. Then Korea and Australia is another holiday destination that i want to go. Then also Europe trip! but not this year.. haha.

Truth to say this year 2012, I want to live a simplistic life, strip bare to the barest minimum. Back to basic? To be relieved of the hype. I don't want to 'follow the trend', if its possible. My car, i need it to go to A to B, and that's it, Jaga my car properly, service properly. Thinking of getting a bike, then i can cycle to work? Less carbon print. Gonna find the clothes that I don't wear anymore and donate it away. Stuff I can live without, I will try and leave without. To compensate for the carbon print from the travelling. hehe.

Going away from Malaysia is something that makes me alive. Looking forward to go back to Brunei for CNY hols. Then I must look for a new holiday destination to go. Addicted to airports much? :)

Sick

2011-12-28T11:09:00.000+08:00

Been horribly sick for the past few days (yes I was sick during christmas!) It's not like I've been puking or hurting or anything. I'm just downright sick, cough, flu, eyes red and itchy, lethargic. Anyway... I've been coughing the whole night last night and i couldn't sleep. I'm super tired, but every 5mins or so, just when im dozing off, the throat would just itch and i just start coughing again. And I am super TIRED from coughing, and coughing would lead to wheezing and gahhH!!!

So this morning, i went to see the panel doctor to find a solution for this matter, and it is just so disappointing. Doctor saw me assumed bacterial infection, and passed me some throat lozenges, something for the phlegm, cough med and guess what ANTIBIOTICS. Le sigh. And sorry to say, but i know my body, and i know it's breaking down somehow. She heard my lungs and said there is NO congestion. (Lady, i know there is congestion, I can't fucking breathe! )

So after going to the panel doctor of my company, i decided to go to another clinic where it has really good review and the doctor is insanely nice and super observant. He spends a lot of time just talking and understanding the patient. The moment i entered, and he saw me, he knew i was having an allergic reaction. Though to what he is not sure but he knew i am having allergic reaction. The coughing was due to the lung congestion and the histamine that is in my body. Plus the point where I was a smoker (and prob will be a social smoker later :p), and has just recently quit, my body was undergoing some serious renovation... He deduced that I was actually having eczema and asthma.

And this is actually true, (no i'm not saying it is true because it sounds right) my childhood doctor in Limbang Sarawak actually told me all this before, as I need to be on loratadine on a daily basis when I am back in Temburong, because I am having allergic reaction, and the symptoms are all the same, i just didn't link it together! I assumed that I am only allergic to something back home (like pollens) cos my nose would just swell up and shit got serious. What I didn't realise is that I could be allergic to that damn thing here too!!

So anyway, I will be on a lot of medication the next few days and I'll be on Ventolin, Loratadine and short term antibiotics due to the inflammation and yellow phlegm, cough syrup for d cough. I think I can never live without loratadine or piriton ever.. GAG! Nothing for the throat cos i am not having sore throat.. but something for the lungs cos i can't breathe.

And I will definitely go back to that doctor as he is super attentive and super awesome! :) in case, anyone who ever finds this, you can try going to that klinik! :)

Dr D.S Gendeh
Klinik Sri Permai
Bandar Sunway, Jalan PJS9/1A,
Pusat Perniagaan Lagoon Perdana.

And i will never go back to the panel doctors no more, even if i can't claim it.

The State of the Unknown.

2011-11-07T07:32:00.001+08:00

I wish I am here right now.. Doesn't matter where, but just by the ocean, listening to the waves, where all problems seem so small. Sitting down by the sands, my bare feet covered, and a warm blanket over me, while the waves lulled me to a peaceful mind. Seeing the sun rise, from darkness to the tinge of orange covering the cloudy skies, as dawn come, it will be alright again. Going back to people who you love and care with a clear mind and no cloudy whisper of the devil. Listening to the angels sing...

I wish there was a song to describe how I feel, the peacefulness overcoming in waves, each one bigger than the other, as they washes away my doubts, worries and problems. Yet, songs failed me this time. For all i can think about is the sound of the crashing waves hitting the shores. No voice can ever replace the sound of nature. I can only reminisce about the few little times when I was at the beach, warm and protected, the calming that I felt, I can only try and relive it in my mind.

Surrounded by blocks of cements, the concrete jungle that I call home, but yet again, all I want is to be by the beach, surrounded by sands...

updates

2011-08-29T21:50:00.000+08:00

HOLIDAY! :)

My left shift key's nt really functioning very well. Lappie please don't die on me. :(

Been saving up for Sept's Korea trip, so it's a green light for me! whee~ Should be able to go there and travel comfortably. :)

Signed up for a credit card recently, I find that cc is just more convenient to book hotels online, instead of using a debit card, which charges you immediately, as opposed to a cc which just holds the booking for you. So yea! cc! This is a good time to learn if i can manage my finances well enough with the temptation of a credit card. I've always thought that even though i am a big spender, i still somehow managed my money well, like i still got savings end of the month, though its not much, but yea. lol.

Anyway, I'm going back Brunei on the 31st! Yay~! Can't wait to go home and get all that loving from d parents and sister. :) hehehehe

2011-08-29T21:38:00.002+08:00

I've recently privatised my blog due to serious personal issues. But time heals everything, so it's gonna be deprivatised :)

Not that (ithink) there will be any thing much to say.. ;)

2011-07-13T16:21:00.006+08:00

Is this an Aquarius trait? We care about friends more than other signs. But because of this, I have been hurt so many times.

I should just care about my closest friends, Lina Doris Mel, I'm sorry, Im gonna bother u guys more now. :) and Lydia! Argh, Y U SO FAR.,. sob love u.

from now on, outing will be small n intimate :)

2011-07-04T01:07:00.003+08:00

sometimes it's better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all.

So many what ifs and what's not, but i don't regret. I just miss Chewie. In ways I don't know I would. :'(

www.myanimalcare.org

2011-05-26T23:34:00.002+08:00

Omg I cannot handle this. I am sorry. I can try to be happy for you but truthfully saying I just can't.

why can't i have it too? I kept having to give up on things and stuff, oh fuck this.

red field

2011-05-20T18:24:00.002+08:00

and the storm hit.

I realised that whenever I am feeling a little down, I tend to glorify myself, like be a little more loud, be little more chirper, be a little more talkative (around my close friends).

I read on twitter at #aboutaquarius, that Aquarius tend to hide themselves to lick their wounds, and I guess I am doing that now.

BUT I AM ALRIGHT. Just need to lick it better (figuratively saying, not literally)

then again, alright is not a feeling right?

2011-05-19T01:54:00.002+08:00

like a calm sea
flowing thru
just taking it all in
before the storms come.

when you are truly comfortable with yourself, i think that's when you'll be comfortable with anyone..

MayDay

2011-05-06T22:02:00.002+08:00

Work for the month of April is not good at all. Actually I am bracing myself to get bombed on Monday during our sales meeting. LOL. My Motivation level had been low, it was more like my motivation was going somewhere else instead of work. Hehe..

But This is MAY! And here goes nothing! :)

Will restart my ignition again, and replan my work. To increase efficiency and effectiveness. Hopefully i can learn alot from this month's sales meeting. Must get organised. Now that I am involved in something so extraordinary, i will have to manage my time more wisely. I am going to invest in an organiser and get my appointments jotted down so I won't miss any and won't double book myself.

There is so much to learn, even after uni. I think the real learning starts after uni. Have you been improving yourself? :) I am eager to learn, and if i am not, I will fake it till i get it right! :) hahaha

2011-04-06T23:19:00.001+08:00

I saw this on kinkybluefairy.net, oh I love her blog. :)

Progress of Step 1

2011-04-06T23:02:00.004+08:00

Hi Y'all!

Well, good news! I did everything on the tasklist that I set myself. I finished my report and started on my presentation, I managed to finish a big half of it, before realising that I didn't have the info to finish it up, so I had to leave it, but the good thing is that, because I did so much the other night, I didn't have to slave over it as much as i would have tonight if i've procrastinated. And now I'm done with my presentation slides! :) Yay and it's 11pm. So much time to sleep! Yay!

And I cleaned up dear Georgie, though I didn't bring him to the carwash, but I managed to clean up the dirty tree sap that was on my car. And my car is clean on the inside, though i didn't do it alone (I enlisted child labor from my sister Doris) *wink*.

I ate my supplements 2nights in a row, and I'm gonna go eat it later before i sleep.

And I've been having this mantra "Positive Attitude" running through my mind all day long, and sure enough, when I was rejected by the doctors, or treated rudely, I felt sad even angry at times, but I quickly bounced back! I was accepting it and thinking it through. Positive Attitude!

I didn't have a conscious thought of smiling all the time, so I have to work on it still :)

We had a gathering on yesterday night, and we watch Damping Malam, not bad of a movie actually. It was a fun-filled night, everyone was around.. Iggy, Lina, Zax, Steph came over and we didn't talk business, but just basking in the comfortable aura that was surrounding us. The contentment, happiness of being in people who knows you well just complete revives me. Even though we were watching a horror movie, it was nice to feel safe. :) Oh and I cooked too! My salted vege soup, yummy! :D

Lina, jiayou! 2more weeks till the end of the program, you did so well already, and you're halfway through! I am so proud of you! HUGS.

Step 1: Recommitment, "Fuel, The Energy You need to Succeed"

2011-04-04T22:04:00.003+08:00

Been feeling in the dumps lately. I am not sure why, it's like my motivational tank is empty. So i gotta reevaluate myself, have to go for motivational talks soon, I hope there is one soon!

There is this book that I am reading now, "Fuel, The Energy You Need to Succeed" by Wes Beavis.
So here, I shall reevaluate, rediscover and refuel my emotional tank.

Step 1:Recommitment

Recommit to your cause, take control of your attitude.
Here is my cause: To succeed in life, to take control of me and the constant ticking of the clock aka time. To succeed, for me meaning: To be happy, to be free to do anything I want whenever I want. To be wealthy emotionally, financially and health-wise.

ATTITUDE

Quotes from the book
" The better your attitude, the more energy you have"

A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes" Hugh Downs.

I am going to have a good attitude in life. Its either I grumble and mumble or I take charge of my emotions. So I am going to take charge, I don't believe I cannot. I am a person with high ego, if I can't do it, I'll try and try again till I get it right.

I am going to be positive, starting tonight.

A Holocaust Survivor, Viktor Frankl said "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of human freedoms- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way"

I shall not let my emotion control me, I should have a good positive view on life, motivated to make a difference, make a change in people I've met and going to meet. I shall be happy, and like in "Eat, Pray, Love", I shall "smile with my face, and smile with my liver".

So here I shall set rules, and restriction and conditions for my mind, so that i will not allow negative thoughts rule my mind, instead fill it up with positive thinking, passion for my life and my work, respect for my family, friends, colleagues and others and most importantly respect for my own self. Punish me when I am demotivated, praise me when I am motivated, ganbatte!!

Friends, if you are reading this, please support me. Don't reprimand me, but support me. Give me a smile, it's free. :)

1. Smile more. Smile when your favorite song is playing on the radio, laugh when someone makes a joke, say hi to ppl.
2. Finish my work.

Now this is a big part of my 'burnt out' moment. Finishing deadlines. After this, I will finish my daily reports, start on my presentation and plan for tomorrow, cos visualising what tomorrow's going to bring and it will be true.

3. Eat my supplements, I am going to keep myself healthy, drink more water, eat my supplements, and go to bed early.

4. This would have to wait for tomorrow, Clean out my dear George. He has been carrying so much of my junk and I can't bear to see him being so dirty. Tomorrow, clean the car up and bring him to the car wash.

thus this brings me to number 5.
Organise my schedule.
Organise the selling details, put them in order.
Organise my books.
Organise my table.

2011-03-23T20:47:00.002+08:00

Two months into working. :) March wasn't a very bad month... :) Just hope that I can do well again in April.

Don't have anything too drastic or emotional to blog, cos I've really been too busy trying to hold down a schedule. Trying to get use to the working life and balancing it with my social life... If I just be more disciplined, I'll prob get more things done. But I need this lazy time, to unwind, to destress, so less disciplined for now. I'll try and incorporate this me time into my days, then I'll be up and going! :)

Gotta learn control. Financially. :p

2011-01-20T22:55:00.001+08:00

stop thinking that you don't have a problem, you do, just realise that and don't be content with it, accept it and make it better.

Mediocre

2011-01-20T22:52:00.002+08:00

Mediocre, that's my life.
I feel like I only have 16hrs aday or something and half of that is spent sleeping. and i want to do so many things at once, read, play, watch tv, hang out with friends, sleep. and i feel like i am everywhere but nowhere at the same time.

i feel like i can't communicate to people i care. talk to me!

How to be alone

2011-01-04T02:30:00.001+08:00

this is an incredible video.

sometimes you just have to allow yourself and embrace the loneliness and be patient.

2010-12-18T23:15:00.002+08:00

let me take a knife and plunge it through my heart, i'm sure the pain will be less than what i feel now.

i think this is the perfect example of spit acid while you're down.

gee thanks. i need it.

life as a backpacker

2010-12-07T11:33:00.002+08:00

a broke one.

Well it's 74days in. :)

I was getting tired of living out of a suitcase, staying in backpackers sharing toilets and showers with 30ppl and bunking in with 7other people in a room slightly bigger than my room in Sunway.

So I took a plunge and i packed my bags, and went travelling again.. change of surrounding. From Auckland, I went to Taupo...

"Taupo (pronounced /ˈtoʊpɔː/, TOE-paw) is a town on the shore of Lake Taupo in the centre of the North Island of New Zealand. It is the seat of the Taupo District Council and lies in the southern Waikato Region."

Here i did bungy jump! :) Which is the most exhilarating thing I've ever done. I can see why it can be addictive! Im planning to go Macau and do the World's highest bungy jump at 233m.. but that would be goals in 2011. I guess. :)

I still can't believe that it is December already. The reaching the end of 2010...

I hope when 2011 comes around, I'll be over my quarter life crisis and step properly into adulthood. :p

2010-11-27T18:50:00.001+08:00

save some time to be lazy :)
nais.

Went to the beach today. Nice weather! Hopefully I'll be tanned soon! :D hehe.

2010-11-15T12:53:00.000+08:00

The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.
Benjamin E. Mays

How true...

What is mine?

personal space online

2010-11-10T10:28:00.002+08:00

I've always feel envious towards individuals who are so open with their thoughts on their blog. I try to open up, but everytime i write about something personal, i ended up writing in cryptic notes that only I can understand. Either that, I'll write it out and then delete it.

I wish i can trust this system again. It failed me a couple years ago and it led to breakup of friendships and relationship. Friendship drifted apart due to trust issues. Enemy made, defamation of reputations.

I am envious, cos they can still trust again, that they have enough self confidence to keep going, keep writing, keep trusting.

Why am I even writing this? Ah I know, I've been reading a friend's friend blog, and the way she writes with such raw emotions, makes me jealous. I wish I can write what I thinks and not be tied down with my own distrust. And I am happy that there is still people there who writes their mind. They makes the world more real.

Beer, Beer ... and free beer

2010-11-10T10:13:00.003+08:00

I've been drinking, abit too much for my liking. Been drinking, and i think i might have a 'give me free drink face' because for 4days in a row, I've been getting free beers, either from friends, or from the bartender. :) Im not saying its a bad thing, but I'm getting a beer belly! :( It's free! What can I say right? :p

Not very lonely now, :) the backpackers that I am staying at feels like a big mixed up family. It's awesome! :) Been having fun! But no pictures, cos my camera ran out of battery and I was too lazy to dig thru my bag to find the charger. hehe.

Though i feel like there's a lot of idiotic guys around, cos I wanna talk to you, it means i am interested to be your friend, not to share a bed with u. Urgh. Annoying.

I'll cut down on my beer intake and take whiskey instead! :) i'll try.

Let me leave u with a blurry pic of me! :) MISS U GUYS!

Auckland

2010-11-05T09:46:00.004+08:00

Hi there,

I will try and keep everything light and happy here, because if I think I am happy, I would slowly believe I am, right?

I got a job offer already. yay. I don't know how much they are paying me. But oh well, I am sure they won't cheat the shit out of me. But it starts on the 17th. So I got 12days to kill. My accommodation will last me till monday. Then I have no plans. So I was thinking of going to Coromandel, cos it's like 1.5hrs away from Auckland and there's the coast (read: kayak, beach, hot water beach). :)

Yay! Writing down what my plans are making it more realisitic and that I got something to look forward to :).

Lucky I didn't blog yesterday, was feeling depressed cos I don't know whether I can get a job or not. :)

I'm broke. Yes, Broke! ARGH. Was seriously thinking of taking up my dad's offer. But PRIDE, though now is better cos I know i got a job now. So it's just taking in the 12days inbetween and 4days before i get paid. :)

Went drinking on tuesday, it was so much fun, met this girl, Jen from California and hung out with her and her buddies. Cool and sweet bunch of guys! :) FUN FUN. Truth to say, there were many days where i woke up late and hungover. :) backpackers party everyday and alcohol is wayyyy cheaper than Malaysia. My plan is usually to spend like $10 a day, so I cook my own meals (so i save up there) then i spend it on alcohol! yay. But usually I spend like $15 in bars. hehe :(

Night View of SkyCity Tower. :)

small updates

2010-10-27T20:11:00.000+08:00

hi there!
It's been 5days?
Yea, me still alive, bt i'm back in backpackers nw. So free internet's hard to get.. I rather put the money to buying food than to go online..

have i ever said this? I freakin love my E71. Thank you daddy! Lol. I love my dad and my mom! haha and vodafone too. Yea, u guys r insanely expensive, but u guy made it up for the free 100mb internet connection. So okay! Lol.
And for the most awesomeness thing my dad said 'if u run out of money let me know okay!' wahhh the sweetest thing ever!
Makes it easier for me to be stronger. It has been hard trying to get a permanent job for 3mth. but no fear, there'll be hope and daddy :p

I have tonnes of pictures i'm dying to show u.. Bt till i get free internet, i shall refrain from posing pictures. Sorry. Just so u know, i am missing everyone. everyone i love who's in my heart, i'm thinking of u. :)

And i miss my pau pau. Every single night! Owhhhhh.. T.T

Day 26 - Muriwai Beach, Albany, Auckland

2010-10-23T19:22:00.004+08:00

love how the sun reflects off the water :)

sunset

Wwoofing is fun! I can say this, I don't regret going for it.
On Saturday (yesterday) We went to the west coast of Albany to see the beach. The weather was glorious, the wind wasn't too strong.. :)

(I think i'm gonna continue this another day. I'm super sleepy now. Enjoy the very little pictures. they are beautiful)

back. I'm going back to the CBD later so no more free internet. Sob. No more free food. No more free accommodation. Maybe I should continue this stay? Nah, I wanna do more touring around Auckland. I haven't ventured out yet :) My plans are to walk around the city, holding my CV's and go to the pubs/bar and apply to be a waitress there! :D hahaha or Barstaff! :D :D :D

anyway back to the pictures

Pretty shells and there's a lot of lala too on the beach. :)

this is at the Gannet Colony. They are big white black birds that comes here every year to breed? They follow the winds direction as it helps them to fly better.

Tracks (during sunset)

Camwhore shot :D hehe

Beach with shoe :) and my camera cord showing :p
different textures and design of the sand

Me and my Host. Thanks Tertia! :) For everything!!
Bolt the dog :)

Magnificent

compulsory emo sunset pic :) hahahahaha

Weather again

2010-10-22T18:33:00.003+08:00

Forecast said that Its gonna be a sunny weekend with temperature averaging of 20degree! :)

I miss warm weather! :)

Summer come fast. and please give me a job! :)

Thanks!

wacky weather

2010-10-21T11:19:00.002+08:00

first came the sun
then came the clouds
then the wind
which blew away the cloud
so sun is out
then wind came again
and blew the rain clouds
pitter patter came down the rain
as fast as it came, it went away
came out the shining sun
along with the clouds
then the rain
then the wind
then made Angie's plan all go WRONG!

No painting today.
nor yesterday.
I was sick yesterday and the day before. Fever Flu.. sob.
so I supercharge myself with nutrients and drugs.
So I'm better today :)
Hopefully there'll be painting tmr, hate it when things left half done!

Missing u

2010-10-19T13:19:00.002+08:00

Yea I miss you. whoever that is reading this.

I miss stability and miss my family.

I miss calling home whenever I can (using Digi, it's super cheap) but here I can't call home anytime i want, cos V8 (vodafone calling card) don't call to Brunei and I can't call my mom's malaysian mobile. And if i use my prepaid credit to call home it's like $2 per min (which is super duper expensive)

I think the feeling of homesickness got pretty bad at one stage (i.e yesterday and the day before) that i was seriously contemplating to go to Melbourne and see Lydia (well Best friend cures homesickness with all her love). I think the reason was because I didn't like gardening at all and i keep having to do it for like 5days straight. urgh. yea, i've been urbanised. AND also cos my period is coming soon so all the hormonal change is causing my emotion to go urghhh burrrhhhh bahhhh...

BUT I'm okay now. You wanna know why? Cos instead of gardening, today I did painting! Haha and i love painting! And while listening to my mp3 player, it slowly cured my homesickness because all the songs that i put inside and (thank god no lady gaga) reminded me of something i cherish at home, it could be the song that reminds me of my heartbreak, the song that Jessica sang, the song that my mom thinks is nice, a lot of korean songs that reminds me of happy things like doris and big bang and family outing.. haha

So yea.. I'm better now :) and tomorrow i get to continue to paint! provided it doesn't rain! *crosses fingers*

and i like to paint. (not draw) Paint!
paint houses, paint boards, paint patios. lalalala

Auckland -Preview

2010-10-17T17:29:00.002+08:00

I realised I've been posting up too many nature pictures, that I myself have been wondering if NZ is all about Nature? Lol. So i decided to proof myself wrong (and anyone who's been deceived).

There.. isn't it nicer? This is Auckland (I was there for 2 days only so I didn't take much photos..) This is Queen's Street I think.. I took this photo cos i really liked the whole view.. :)

Fear not! This is just a preview.. gonna take more photos and blog about Auckland! :)

Wwoof in NZ

2010-10-16T17:55:00.005+08:00

"WWOOF New Zealand is part of a world wide community that promotes awareness of ecological farming practices by providing volunteers with the opportunity to live and learn on organic properties. WWOOF is an enjoyable, educational and safe way to explore and get to know the people in the country."

I am currently going for this program WWOOF stands for World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farm... now I am in Albany, near the Northshore and about 30mins bus ride from Auckland CBD Staying with this lovely lady, while helping her out with her gardening and helping out generally in the house. And this is the place I am staying now!!

Sorry, cos I haven't managed to blog about Wellington. Wrote it in my notebook but i feel this is more relevant now? :)

benches by the house :)

Swing and an old car :)

the house :) *Side*

pass the gate and beyond:)

pretty right? Absolutely relaxing :)

View from the side :)

View from the other side

This is the view that i see from the bonfire.. the house is further up the gate.. :)
super pretty!

To prove that I, Angie have been gardening, this is the plants that I have painstakingly planted individually!

See those small ones and the big ones? seeeee properly!!

Ahh this one shows it better :)

I feel so much healthier here, like I am trying to seek balance in life. I miss Malaysia, I miss my friends, the food, my family and everything there is.. but I am enjoying my stay here. Everywhere's so pretty and so green and peaceful. It kinda give you hope that there is still beautiful natural things in life.

And I feel like its almost illegal to work in such beautiful places. haha
and roger, I am sure you'll be proud of me, you know why? I am smoke free! :) haha and the air is so fresh! I am eating well too and been gardening! Oh My Gosh! It's hard work wei, I better lose weight man~ at least tone my arms and legs or sth! haha. :)

I really wish that my family and friends can be here with me so thats why I am sharing it with you :)

finally

2010-10-15T18:18:00.002+08:00

lol pictures in my camera was dated back till eaarly 2009.

lol

yea, im finally taking it out and putting them in folders

don't i deserve a pat in the back?
LOLLLL

yes, elaine, Langkawi pics are out!
will send it to you?

and yea, justin's birthday pictures are in the lappie

and my singapore trip

and my melbourne trip

and my kk trip

and my langkawi wit family trip

and my jessica's birthday

and my mum's birthday

and mel's birthday

hahahahahahahhahaha

and a lot moreeeee

Christchurch

2010-10-11T09:56:00.006+08:00

image Googled (yes, I googled, all my photos are in my camera which conveniently not with me now.)

I reached Christchurch around 2pm ++. The time difference between Aust and NZ is about 3hours! It’s almost crazy I feel...

At the airport, took the city flyer to the town centre. I thought that the city would be a big city, you know something like Melbourne or a city like KL.. But surprisingly, it is a very quaint and relatively small city. With plenty of greens around and museum and art gallery.

The weather was superb too. For the 5nights that i was there, it hardly rained. Morning was gorgeous, with plenty of sun, and temperature comfortable enough for a person like me, who lived in the equatorial all her life. However, during early evenings, it will turn cold and windy. That time, i would just love to snuggle in bed, and read a book.

Met a wonderful girl who stayed in the same dorm as me. Her name is Sarah, from Manchester UK. A very smart yet fun loving person! A doctor! And very hot! LOL. She’s at Whanganui now (pronounce as nganganui?) doing her 2/3months attachment in the hospital there. J Prob if i have a chance will drop by there.

Let’s talk about Christchurch. Stayed at YMCA... for 5nights. First day, i went out with Jamie. Brought and bought me dinner (yay!) and took me around to get me settle down. Thanks Jamie!

Realised how nearby everything is. YMCA was a good choice.. haha. Walk to the city centre? 10mins. To the Museum? 2mins... To the Art Centre? 3mins. J To the Christchurch Botanical Garden? 2mins! Everywhere is so near. Though it is far from the other parts of the outskirts of the city... but Jamie took me around there so it’s alright.

Here are some pictures from my phone :)... So it is really beautiful, cos mind you, with my nokia e71, 3.2mp camera, you can still see how pretty it is.. :)

- I would need the map to know where did i go. :p I am bad with names! I need to remember them!

This is prob the yummiest thing i ate.. lol the bratswurth! YUM!!! Jamie introduced this to me too!

Jamie brought me to this place, and it is super yummy! Thanks!

Things i wished i brought along

1. My pau pau! L

2. My grey Dorothy Perkins bag!

3. My newly bought book! Grrrr

Yea. That’s it. I think :p

Happy Birthday

2010-10-05T00:01:00.002+08:00

With the limited time i have on wireless.. i would like to say this...

HAPPPYYYY BIRTHDAYYY to LINA TOON!!!!!

Angie, Mel and Lina( birthday Girl) (sorry about the clown at the back :p)

Lina, its been like 3.5yrs that we've known each other, and I truly say I enjoy every second of it! :) We've been through thick and thin, fun and sad. Had our friendship put on the test, and I am so glad we never gave up on our friendship. :) I think i can say that i grew up with you and mel, seeing me thru all my uni times. You were there when i needed you, so i want you to know that I am here for you when u need me. I won't be there physically but you can call/text me anytime and I'll call you back! :)

Happy Birthday!!!!!!

Miss you loads babe.. although kan, i'm in NZ, you can text me whenever, and i'll call back! :) i promise.

Happy Birthdayyyyy! :)

Melbourne

2010-10-04T14:36:00.004+08:00

Arrived at Tullamarine Airport on the 25^th September at about 9am, Lydia and her bf Hann (sorry, secret’s out) pick me up. J Immediately went to the city centre to shop (i think it was smith’s st) where I bought my converse shoes there. And this superb travelling bag that i can use to keep my passport and electronic stuff and it was on sale at Kathmandu! (got it for AUD 9.90!) hahaha

We went to the Melbourne Royal Show afterwards, ate sausages, Turkey legs, saw loads of dogs, sheep and ponies and PEOPLE! Haha People Mountain people ocean *Chinese proverb, meaning loads of people!!!!!

Went back to Lydia’s place, where Hann cooked indomee! Lol, i was laughing to myself, cos even in Sunway, I don’t eat Indomee and then in Melbourne pulak eat Indomee. :P

Afterwards went to Lydia’s wushu friend Billy’s birthday, played Volleyball @.@ die.. it was a very painful one, till to the point where i just decided to just not hit the ball.. lol sorry!

It was a wonderful 3days there. Met with Lydia’s Wushu gang and saw their awesomely cool performance at Vic Mart, where Steven came too! J

Then we went to lygon st for lunch, and Kiz came too! J fun fun times with Kiz and steven... after that we went to this beautiful park where it was a dog friendly park, saw so many beautiful dogs. I felt so happy there cos all the dogs there looked so happy and so big! Carefree! If only Malaysia is like that. I would gladly get a dog myself. I kept telling Lydia, if only i stay there, i would get a golden retriever or something! Haha!

Had Hotpot for dinner... lol yes steamboat.... LOL I had a ‘surprise’ farewell steamboat party on Thursday and here i am having another steamboat on Sunday... it was good fun, i think Hebi would really like the steamboat cos the spicy soup was REALLLLLLY spicy! L there were loads of meat and hardly any vege at all.

When Monday came, i just decided to sleep in while Lydia went to uni for her phd work. Met up with Tsan and had lunch in the Hospital! J it was a great meeting tsannie J hehe

We had dinner at Lydia’s place cos Jason’s (lydia’s hsemate) mom cooked J yay! Went to wushu with Lydia (i didn’t train lol too lazy). Came back, and just chitchatted with Lydia.. haha some bonding time! Lol

Had to wake up at 5am for my 8.05am flight to Christchurch!

Sorry about the super messy writings, i doubt anyone can understand.. but it's kinda hard to get internet here (more like exp!)

okay pictures are random lol. but see them on my FB! :) im tagged!

this brought tears to my eyes...

2010-09-21T03:24:00.000+08:00

By our late Yasmin Ahmad

Which one are you?

2010-09-08T23:29:00.002+08:00

woke up this morning feeling okay.. then it hit me.. the soreness, aching.. ohh.. yoga, i must have underestimated you. :) haha. but its okay. i think.

i've been out for the past 2 days.. like the whole day, so i've not been at home much, didn't go to the kitchen area, never exactly looked at the state of the house is. but when i woke up and saw! I WAS SO ANGRY! Just two days of not being there, there were dirty pots, pans and plates piled up like a tower in the sink! The rubbish spread around the rubbish bin, overflowing with rubbish! OMGGGGGGGGGG! the stench! urgh! omg. so dirtyyyyyyyyyyy.

okay, so i saw the mess. i was.. urgh, no point getting angry....so i turned on the tap and started washing one plate at a time.. after that was done.. i looked at the rubbish, took a new plastic bag and started picking the shit up! THEN! FUCKING HELL! i saw the shrek campbell chicken soup that i bought specifically for Jessica!!! OPEN! FUCK! EMPTY! You know how many supermarket i went through to find that!? You think it's so easy to buy ah! you find for me la, alphabet soup! omgggggggggg!!!!! FUCKKK So pissed off!!!

how can you expect me to clean your mess?ok, i cleaned your kitchen mess.. but its just ridiculous! eat that can of soup without asking me! ishhhhhhhh i cannot stand it! so what if you are having problems? you think you're alone? heck! asked money from you to buy, you ate you pay la. i pay, you eat, i clean!? REally meh? Got such thing?! FUCK LA. seriously fuck la!

and last time, i would feel so pissed and would want to smoke.. but now, i don't even wanna smoke anymore! URGH! i'm done! I'm done...

everything also have to give way to you. mom say pity you. i say fuck you!

2010-09-08T03:23:00.001+08:00

oh i forgot.
went to gym today :)

went for yoga. it was slow but one hell of a muscle twisting cramping shiat! :) hahahah

will try and go for it if i can.. hopefully it'll help out with my poor aching back :(

earthquake.

2010-09-08T03:10:00.003+08:00

earthquake in christchurch just a few days ago, then again this morning a 5.2 magnitude earthquake was felt in the north island.. though New Zealand is a earthquake prone area, this doesn't stop my parents from questioning my intention to go there late september.

And to make it worst is that, the 7.2-magnitude is in Christchurch, where I'll be at! :(

i really do hope that my dad won't stop me, cos i know i'll listen to him. in a heartbeat. im wired like that.

and today, i received a random phonecall from MSC(?) to go for a job interview.. wow. I didn't even apply for any job.. haha, but i doubt i'll go for the interview. But i'll see how my parent's decision. IF they are really against me....... haih.

oh did i mention, i'm broke? :(

world.. it's not even 2012 yet.

getting motivated

2010-09-06T02:52:00.002+08:00

how time flies.
seriously. lydia came and went off the korea. :) it was super great to hang out with her again. its just so easy. minus the part where i have to wake up super early each day :) hahaha

you know sometimes i wonder why i couldn't find a job and join the rat race..

after studying for so long, all you ever think about is finishing school, finishing uni.. there isn't anyone that tells us that there is another lifeafter school. no one told us that there is another life after school. no one prepared us for it. all they did was to tell us to find a job. a job that presumably ask u to work from 9 to 6 or 8 to 5 every weekday. they want us to go into a routine. a stupid boring routine that makes us work for money. where the only time that people look forward to is at the end of the month when the salary comes in.

i would like to wake up and having the choice to do what i like and not stay in one office all day and by the time the day comes to an end, u'll realised another day came and left. is it worth it?

i am still trying to figure that out. i do not think it is worth it, so i need to find alternative source of income, passive income that comes in. i need to find a new goal. because my old goal expired, which was getting a degree. now i need to learn more and expose myself more, to go out of the box. to not be the rat.

step one: change my mindset.

lamp goes clink! :)

2010-09-01T23:32:00.001+08:00

yes it is. :)

credit: stuffnoonetoldme.blogspot.com

tasklist and time management

2010-09-01T04:40:00.003+08:00

lydia is arriving in 2.5hrs time. and i've been trying to sleep since 3.30am.. it's been 1hr, and i still can't sleep.

my mp3 player lied to me, because its time is one hour faster. i wonder how it happened.

been having trouble sleeping, i feel like my brain can't stop thinking..like there are a million things to do, and i don't have the time to do it because i was having too much fun hanging out with my friends.

until now i am still trying to do that thing called time management. how many times has my procrastination caused me trouble? how many times have me delaying things causing things to backfire on me?

i am still trying to get a proper sleeping pattern. one that include falling asleep before midnight and waking up before the day turns into pm..

i was thinking that maybe if i write down my thoughts, i might be able to get some rest.. so thats why.

things i need to do asap like today.
1. buy a mattress
2. call mom get numbers
3. pick up lydia.
4. manage my time properly.
5. call michelle my roomateeeeee!
6. go pharmacyyy
7. buy groceries
8. actually have a conversation with my bro and plan a meal with him and my sister (and we stay under the same roof!)
9. shop for a mp3 player for jessica

things i managed to do yesterday
1. go to bank
2. pump petrol

sigh.

feeling kind of useless right now, like i can't even manage my own time properly. keep having to wait. wait wait wait.. sigh.

i am still trying to learn how to say no, and more yes-es to myself.

airasia and everything random

2010-08-28T21:29:00.002+08:00

With my parents being on a different country and 3 of us in West Malaysia.. we tend to travel rather alot.. so one of my favorite site to go to when i go online is airasia.. well you have to admit, their deals are pretty sweet sometimes.. :) and i buy a lot of flights for me, my parents and siblings..

BUT!! (rant begins)

Is it me or is Airasia's website been going down on the dump? It's been getting on my nerves because i've been trying to upgrade my flights, like add on more baggage and do some online check-in, and buying new flights and it is incredibly user unfriendly!! Like super unfriendly.

I can't seem to add on new baggage size, can't do online check in! Nothing! and I didn't even receive my itinerary in my inbox, in which i had to ask for a resend 3 times and waited for 1hr before I got the pdf.

sigh.

what i do for cheap flights! :p
(rant ends)

i hope airasia's website improves.
So now here's the deal..

Going back to KL tmr..
24th Sept to Melbourne
28th Sept to Christchurch, NZ
28th Jan, Christchurch to Melbourne
1st Feb, Melbourne to KL
2nd Feb, KL to Brunei
25th Feb, Brunei to KL
14th April, KL to Melbourne.

:)
haha

yea, i got broke buying my flight tickets. :(

Looked at the YMCA accommodation.. it's like NZ$50 for two nights there. I was thinking that maybe i should get a CC for NZ, it's definitely easier to do internet booking. but should I? Or should i use my debit card?

i really look forward to tmr, kinda sad cos i have to leave home again. but really looking forward to meeting my friends again! and LYDIA IS COMING ON THE 1ST Sept!! She'll be here till the 4th, then off to Korea! :D

Everyoneeee, see u soon!!! :D

I miss the white wine that Sham treated me to at republic, I'm so going there asap. :) hahaha

2010-08-16T14:37:00.002+08:00

sigh, just last week, i was so happy because i could borrow some books from the library, but now, they tell me that i can't use my sister's card to borrow young adults books. :( oh my gosh, i feel so dejected, rejected and bloody pissed.

urgh, i hate this feeling of wanting something so badly and can't have it! sigh feel so spoilt.

i want that Neil Gaiman book! i want to borrow books! I want to read books!!!!

rawrrrrr!

im never going back to that stupid piece of shit library. if i were to return there, i will ignore the stupid librarians.

sigh, i feel so denied.

back to ebooks i guess.

maybe i'll try and sneak that book out from the library the next time, i can do it, but dunno whether i would. prob not. sigh.

2010-08-05T22:43:00.002+08:00

everything's done. only the packing. (packing now would be considered as crazy)

wow.

freakin out.

sigh

Again

2010-07-30T17:10:00.002+08:00

(taken from naz, credits: here)

I forgot again, now i am remembering. Today is my last day working as an Events Executive in Monash University Sunway Campus. Loads of good memories and experience I've gained. From working with impossible bosses and colleagues to having a great time with the same exact people. Thank you for giving me a chance to dab into this field, it is so much fun and so tough as the same time. Thank you for giving the confidence and giving the opportunity and support. Thank you very much to every one who i spoke to and worked with. I will definitely miss you guys. Thank you Michelle Kiob, Parveen, Shamini, David, Bee Gan, Carol,for being such a great boss and colleagues. ESPECIALLY LINA TOON! Without you girl, I don't think i'll enjoy it as much as i had.

Sad but i am elated. Going home on Sunday. Back to Brunei. Home. Sweet. Home. :)

then Melbourne to New Zealand! :) I'm filled with so much love for my family because of their love, I am able to go for this working holiday with so much support. :) thank you family. I love yoU!!!!

ahh i like that feeling :) i think it's called optimism.

i am going to miss everyone here.

Langkawi 2010

2010-07-27T10:47:00.001+08:00

Yes, it’s a mistake. I know it’s a mistake but there are certain things in life where you know it’s a mistake but you don’t really know it’s a mistake because the only way to really know it’s a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say yup, that was a mistake. So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you’d go your whole life not really knowing if something’s a mistake or not.
— How I Met Your Mother

(taken from http://ohmollysue.tumblr.com/)

yeap! I agree wholeheartly. and I don't regret at all for making the mistake! lolllll

:D

Langkawi 2010 (22-25th July) - AWESOME!

envy

2010-07-19T23:45:00.002+08:00

i used the word envy just last night.

today i heard from two separate individual that i've just met/spoken to on the phone, the same exact phrase i used. "i envy you"

en·vy

(ěn'vē)
n. pl. en·vies

1. A feeling of discontent and resentment aroused by and in conjunction with desire for the possessions or qualities of another.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/envy

A feeling of discontent. I envy those who are content. Some other envy me cos I am going on a holiday (longg) I wish I can get rid of those feeling and be content. Now I don't think i envy anyone now, oh, i do. I envy those who still have their uni lives and have the freedom of not getting tied down. :) But i guess I wont be getting tied down soon. NZ, I will live every moment and enjoy every second.

There wouldn't be a single thing that i would change if i have the chance to relive my uni years, except the part where I should have studied harder. Thats all. haha
should we all follow our heart? or are we built to work as slaves for others?

if you are envious of others, should you try to find a way to make you content with what you have? or at least try to find something that you think will make u achieve that? :)

I love my family
I love my friends
I am going to find myself.
and its okay to make mistakes.
we all do,
and we're not perfect.

missing love

2010-07-19T10:33:00.002+08:00

i miss the warm fuzzy feeling when i think of love
i miss the fast thumping heart beats when i think love msged me
i miss the joy in my heart when love called

when is love gonna come knocking on my door again? It has been 2 years..

"The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly"

Owl city, Vanilla Twilight

no, i am not emo, just exploring my heart again :p

wandering down the life meadow

2010-07-19T10:26:00.002+08:00

sometimes trying to understand myself is just too hard for me. So i stopped. :)

i don't know what I'll do next, don't know how i am going to do whatever that i want to do, my brain don't understand.

but i'll just keep doing what my heart wants me to do. and that is when i am the happiest.

I'm broke now, haha but surprisingly i am happier! Maybe because i am finally quitting this job? I like Monash, I like my current job but i think i don't like it enough, i thought it would be enough for me, i thought this little happiness that i have would be enough.. but i guess nt :)

i think i'll never stop trying to find myself. but i know it won't be in front of a desktop, from 9-6 every weekday. ;p

I am not content with my life now, but if you are content with yours, like this unspeakable peace that comes over you at night, then don't run away from it. :) i envy you.

2010-07-08T16:02:00.002+08:00

I don't know how many does actually read my blog.. I'm not exactly the most interesting and rajin blogger (i don't even think im a blogger! O.o")

But here to life-changing decisions!

The craziest thing happened and I took the plunge, luckily my parents agreed to my crazy ideas and ideas turned into decisions and decisions turned into planning. Like Nike said "JUST DO IT!" I did just that.

I'm not incredibly happy in Malaysia, I don't have a secure job, I'm plagued by tons of money-issues, just paying the bills and turn Angie into a bloody scrounge.

I had a plan to go Australia next year in April, I even bought the air tickets, on working holiday visa, and through that plan, i have to save alot of Money, cos I'll be on my own there, heck I'm even on my own now. :) In order to accomplish that dream, I turned down party offers, turned down movies and shopping! So I saved up half of the money required for Australia...

But here for another year? I'm sad, depressed and tired. I think I've never thought Malaysia as my home. True, I hold a Malaysian IC and passport, but how do you want me to feel love for a country that have never treat me right? People are friendly yes, but I'm not close to my relatives here, and they either held some contempt or jealously (i don't know) towards my family. I think being away from Malaysia for 18years of my life, tears apart even blood-bond.

And even the education system here sucks, and people tend to generalise, I try not to and be friends but what am i to do if they shuts you off and make rumors and try to bring you down. I have a close knit of friends here, friends that I will be close with even 20years down the road. We've all change, i have less patience for people to look down on me, bring my friends down.

Yes, i will be apart from my closest friends, Lina, Mel, Elaine, Steph, Michelle, Iggy, Roger, Zax, Aric... but I know that they will support me, and that I will never ever forget them and no one can replace their spots in my heart.

so as I was saying.. one more year to go? (9mths to be exact) I think I'll lose all my energy by then. So, this crazy guy by the initials of CWS told me he'll be going to New Zealand in August, I perked up! Asked him about the visa, whats the minimum $ u need to bring to there and etc.. and all the information starting to drive me crazy. Took a plunge, calculated the airfare, turns out i do have the money to go! Called my mom, who alrdy decided that I am going to be the new black sheep of the family (my bro used to be), and told me to do whatever I want (in a nice way) and said that she'll support me. She has grown towards the idea of me going to Australia in April.

So I did all the necessaries. and

I AM GOING TO NEW ZEALAND!

i had three bad days and counting

2010-07-05T03:02:00.000+08:00

day 1 : argentina lost
day 2 : i lost usher tix
day 3 : i lost my car

how wonderful. fml

office mess, life mess

2010-07-01T10:36:00.002+08:00

everything in the office is such a mess, i couldn't find anything, despite me trying to remember where was where and what was what.. now i can't find anythin! but oh well..

my boss's back from her maternity! and so is Michelle (well nt from Maternity but holiday!) haha, YAY!

I know it is not the end of the world. I just need to get thru this week and go gym! :) and class on saturday! i forgot about it, when we were discussing about what to do on saturday, i kept on mentioning that i know i got sth on.. but i cant remember.. only last night, i remembered i got korean lessons on saturday! and im sure not gonna miss it! :D its fun!

Life oh life, i hope u can somehow figure yourself out for me, cos i'm sure having a fool out of it and messing things up every time.

MBTI

2010-06-25T14:10:00.001+08:00

Read sweatlee.com and she talked about MBTI personality test, so I went to check it out and tried a short test, and this is what i got!

Extraverted sensing types are pragmatic and realistic with a zest for living life to the fullest by way of multiplying experiences. Always on the alert for what needs immediate attention or what might provide a bit of action, excitement or entertainment, they engage quickly with their environment. They seek and enjoy freedom, are good-natured, direct, and tolerant and are often the ones who provide levity.

They have a way with dealing with people on a very equal platform and are not easily star struck. Rank, celebrity and status mean little when they are face to face with another individual.

On the job, they appreciate having the right tools and are quite ingenious at finding ways to fix and repair things with dexterity. They love variety and are curious and adventurous, enjoying the unexpected. Their brand of extraversion is one of deeds rather than words. As long as things are moving along, they are happy. They like to keep things simple and immediate, going with the flow. They are helpful in very concrete ways, providing the correct tools or specific service the person requires. They often have an uncanny ability to respond appropriately in cases of emergencies, often having excellent reflexes. They act without thinking. They also tend to have natural mediating skills.

They are attuned to the environment and the myriad colours, textures, sounds, beauty and the sensuousness of it all. They are quite graceful and agile while moving through their environment. They love having fun and if things are too quiet they may provide the entertainment or distraction. They learn by imitation and are keen observers. They teach through example. Their attention will always go towards whatever provides the keenest impression on their senses.

I think this is really quite true!! google it! :)

true colors

2010-06-14T22:27:00.002+08:00

if this world makes you crazy
and you've taken all you can bear,
you call me up
because you know I'll be there...:)

Dear friends, this is dedicated to you all..

i dunno why but this song is stuck in my head, n it made me stronger and i hope it will make u stronger too :)

2010-06-05T00:40:00.000+08:00

i signed up for my language classes!! :)

yay!

2010-05-19T03:21:00.002+08:00

14.04.2011

It's time to move forward. I'm stepping out blindly, I have to be ready for it, it's no joke now. IT'S TIME.

I'm going, catch me.

can't wait for the day to end. like seriously

2010-05-13T09:54:00.003+08:00

emofied nowadays, i wake up with much difficulties, and go to Monash and sit the the cubicle.. and i hate this feeling of wanting the day to end. it sucks feeling the way i feel, so unsatisfied and feel really underachieved. :( urghhhhhh

sien.

I need to be reminded that life is still beautiful.

2010-05-13T09:23:00.002+08:00

i wonder why does receipts need to be so long... waste more paper. especially when u had to buy a plastic bag and along with that, they issued a long receipt, ish. just made u feel like the scum of the earth, cos u bought a 10sen plastic bag and wasted paper at the same time.

why can't we jst reduce the length of the receipts? Take out the welcome to blablabla part, and instead of putting the terms and conditions jst give a website and a phonenumber for complain. then u'll prob reduced half of the length of the paper already. :D then my wallet won't be so thick with papers :(.

Thinking youre okay now might just be a defense mechanism, ur strong definitely, but dun force ppl away from you k? and especially don't force yourself away from yourself.

hilarious yet true....

2010-04-16T11:18:00.002+08:00

2010-04-09T10:30:00.002+08:00

Everyday you cease to amaze me, though i thought i knew your stupidity yet, u surprised me again!

OMG, WHAT AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im SO FREAKIN PISSED! WHY ARE THEY SO MANY IDIOTS AROUND. ESPECIALLY THAT ONE THAT IS SITTING IN THE 9to6 place!

Did u even hear yourself? Comparing us to local universities?
asking me to do idiotic things, i wonder what is in your brain? i would love to dissect it.

I forgot

2010-03-29T17:40:00.002+08:00

(taken from naz, credits: here)

time to march on

MUST be Realistic

2010-03-25T11:15:00.001+08:00

How on earth am i gonna save up 10k by end of this year, if i earn about 1.4k a month? part time? damn that is sad.
I need to work full-time. damn.

urgh. let calculate and budget!

urgh

if you dont like it, it's cool, fuck u

2010-03-20T13:19:00.002+08:00

today i wondered, why blog?

blog to remember life's highlights and lowlights? but some people's blog are mostly lowlights, means if u read back, won't it brings you down further?

but how to blog bout highlights? all my highlights are so much fun that i forget to take pictures, all i have is the memories, and they sometimes get avalanche-d down by other stupid shits that happened.

i feel ridiculous writing that, its like writing a composition and not knowing how it'll end, doesn't that sound like life?

i don't have answers, and i mostly just have questions, questions that i feel like no one knows and no one even thought about it..

i do get angry quite often, i feel, but most of the time, underneath the anger, it's mostly, if not all disappointment. I've been living with this mantra for over 2years now, if they dont care about me, why the hell should i care about them, and I'm still repeating that. If there is no respect for me, why the hell should i even give a damn about u? ahahaha, there is no use getting angry for those kind of people. so no worries, u can die and i would feel sad, but u wont see me going to your funeral. and then i would go on and enjoy my life.

change of pace?

2010-03-17T11:36:00.003+08:00

these week, things have been so.... boring.

i feel like everything i do, i lack something, im always seem be the last in everything. Last in finding a job, last in settling down.. and i know im not important, but i'm still here right? I feel like i am so useless. No motivation in life at all. I need to change of pace or place?

Lookin at Work and Travel Australia now, need to be excited about something. Let's go Australia? lol

i need about AUD5000 (says in the website) so hmm, if i save and not spend on shopping at all, means don't buy clothes don't do anything rash.. maybe i should be able to save up enough money for that, by the end of this year. Ok set, my goal, save enough money for that, and go Aust! :)

i feel so much better now :) hahaha.

maybe i'm not ready but i'll try

2010-03-03T21:43:00.002+08:00

the previous post's title was a song lyric but now i forgot what's the song's about. sob. gotta go back and find it..

anyway it's been good. im well fed and goin to gym! ;)

hopefully gonna lose some of this fat!!!!!!

keep tell me nothing now

2010-02-27T00:48:00.003+08:00

there will nvr be enough money for anyone in this world right?

Even though CNY was awesome (i've been using this word too much liao), and i got some ang pows, the money's draining away now! :(

I wanna buy a new phone, but im too stingy to pay so much, yet i want sth that can use wifi and gps too... looking at Nokia MusicXpress phone, it's like 1k.. it's like too much for me, (yea i'm that stingy)

oh, i'm unemployed again. haha. and what did i do on my first day of unemployment? 5 hours of L4D! hahaha!! :D

Life is good till the money runs out. damn.
Please let me wake up and find a stack of cash on my bed please!
crap! i need to pay my rent somemore! and Convo! $$$$

urgh.

Happy CHinese New YEAR!

lol
I love my family! and i nvr wanna grow up.. i want to be my parents little girl forever! :)

and i washed my car today, it's clean for like 1.5hrs, then it rained! T.T but at least the interior's clean :) hahaha

let everyday be a learning process, let's go! what did i learn today? charger runs in a straight line and shoving it doesn't work.. and tank is a big meanie, and when's there's two tankers, it's suck even more. lol. and ur balls are showing.

and sometimes as u grow older, u become more inhibited, and be more caution, and this applies to me esp in the 'love' section.. been holding back but yet last night's conversation.. it still makes me happy. :) though there's no chance, but im glad we still have this friendship, 3mths passes by so fast and it saddens me to say goodbye. ;( thank you for facebook though :)

missing people in my life esp those whom i'm with for the past 3mths, gonna miss laughing along with u guys! <3<3

Happy Chinese New Year

2010-02-12T00:16:00.002+08:00

Hope everyone gets enough money to buy everything they want, may it be a new boobs, new dresses, a trip to korea, a trip to australia, to continue their studies, to buy a new house, a new car, to go genting and gamble and get more money, and proceed to give me more money and most importantly wish everyone a healthy year ahead and filled with happiness.

Like zombieland (2009) said, Enjoy the little things, so enjoy the 4days weekend, give ur grandparents (if they are still living, god bless them) a hug, give ur nieces and nephews some kiss, love ur parents, siblings even though u can't stand them.. smile in the new year! :)

HappY CHinese New Year, may this year be jam-free, so i can go home peacefully and in one piece with no delays. oh yea.. hopefully a new love too. :) hehe can't stay single for too long :p
take care!
:)

RAWR! :D

the greatest escape

2010-01-31T01:48:00.004+08:00

genting was super super awesome! it was so much fun with the people that was constantly with me! Roger, Steph, Lina, Justin, Hardi! the six of us, prob had more fun than everyone in genting! we were constantly on high!

the hotel room was awesome, it would have prob be more fun if it was jst the six of us. stupid iggy couldn't come, because he-oh-so-iggy mistaken the dates of HIS OWN BROTHER'S WEDDING! wat an iggy, seriously!

I am so glad of the 5 of them, i am so loved. if they hadn't been here, it would prob be one of saddest birthday. i love love love them! it was because of them, genting was sooooooooooooo awesomee!

this doesn't really bother me much, but it does in a small way, so im just gonna say it out here.
what's the point of going to a birthday celebration, if ur just using us as an excuse. BUT U know what... i got friends that realllllllllllllly cared about me, so i really can't and won't and don't give a damn about u. lol :D i lovesss my friends!

i can really go really emo and starts writing how much i love love lina, roger, steph, hardi and justin, but i don't think i should, cos when it's emo, it's gonna be emo, so i rather live through the fun and excitement i had during haunted adventure, corkscrew, cyclone, snow world, safari, casino, esp the hot hot angel we saw.. phew~! omg...

THANKS SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the 'great' escape

2010-01-28T00:22:00.003+08:00

a supposedly small gathering of some close friends are slowly turning into a random gathering. oh god.

i wanted a small group cos thats how i like it, small group means we can talk to everybody and everybody will listen, too big of a group, people get bored and then we'll have clicks.
:(

i hope it will turn out good for everyone. im gonna be sellingfish that day.

boys like girl's coming to malaysia and i just realised that its freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee entry!! gosh,i want to go there especially now. THE GREAT ESCAPE, sing it for me,baby.
i miss my girls :( elaine, mel, tsan, fel.. ;( remember this is the song we'll sing in k.

imma go listen to it now

convo. :D

2010-01-25T18:02:00.002+08:00

Whee! I called my mom, and turns out that my parents and my baby sis would be coming to my convo! :) wheee~ im not alone..
at first, they said they don't want to come cos they are coming back for CNY.. sob. i was so sad.. couldn't even talk about it, without tearing up. I told my mom, i'm gonna postpone my grad to nov, cos only then they are able to come, since the whole reason of goin convo is for them, i would rather just grad without fuss, no extra charges and stuff, since my friends all grad last year.. but when i tried telling her, i kinda teared up, and lo and behold! immediately mom said she'll come back, she'll buy a ticket for her.. but NOWWWWWWWWW My DADDY is coming back for my convo tooooO~ :D
heheheheh
happiness.

and they are coming on the 6th. and my training ends on the 5th march... whee. one week of no training to be spent with them! :D
actually supposed to postpone my convo and i'll take this time to go take my diving license instead. but i guess the diving will be postponed till after the 12th! :D then one week, and go for my internship, which i have yet to find ! yikes!

2010-01-17T15:20:00.003+08:00

argh all this pms. i say one little thing wrong, i kena marah.

im talking bullshit, but its better i write here than i say things that will hurt ppl.. it's the pms angie talking now. urgh..

:)

oh got a really weird freaky dream but its kinda cool, wish i can continue the dream, but tak berapa ingat what dream, all i remember being scared, then excited, then not being scared then happy.. hmmmmm.

friends? really?

2009-12-20T23:59:00.002+08:00

fark spider

there are so many things running through my mind, if i wasn't so tired and sick, i would have thrown a tantrum, though it would be no use, cos there wouldn't be anyone there to witness the tantrum. lol

i can't believe how some people actually make fun of other people and still call them friends. what happened to friends care about each other and help each other and not bring each other down? And can u actually be friends with someone, when u are actually looking down on them? Is that the definition of friends? or is it just someone who happens to boost your ego? be friends with people that benefits you, and not be friends with those who don't? Some people thinks that they are better than others and they don't need friends, but they label certain people as friends just because they want something from you and so that they don't have to be alone when everyone's not alone. haih. after awhile, i just feel like whats d point of getting angry. i better use the time i have to care for my true friends :)
now i am not talking about specifically one friend, but i am talking in general friends. i know some people actually look down on me, label me as dumb and shit, but guess what, i am happy and even when i am alone, i am not lonely, and there are people who care about me, even though i am being a bitch or emo-ing, there are still people beside me. and i don't need to prove myself to you. you should be glad that i am even layan-in. dumbfuck. argh so angry now.

life is really too short to sit around in an office and watch ur face wrinkle

2009-12-15T19:08:00.003+08:00

Lately, i've been going out and meeting new people, and sometimes the topic of conversation would lead to what are we supposed to do in the future, and every single one of us sure have lost people, like friends passing away b4 their prime time, and they all have been saying life is certainly too short. and i admit that, i feel like life is really too short.. I just graduated, and i thought when i graduated, i would want to go and work as soon as possible, to earn money and pay back my parents.. but now that i had grad, and have been waking up at 6.30every weekdays to go kl for training.. i don't know if i wanna work just yet. GOsh, i'm just 21!

I want to travel, i want to travel while i still can go..

next year, i want to go and get my diving license (if i say it often enough, im sure it will come true), going to bangkok.. and im planning to go aust again.. this time i wanna go for the great ocean walk. lol. i'll camp there and im sure it'll be a good experience.
sob. i need to save... maybe im thinking, hell im so young, i think i can go travel with the money i get, but its not wrong right? one year.. while my dad's still working. I guess i can go and start my life?
I want to open a restaurant by an island and live there! :(

2009-12-08T00:05:00.000+08:00

wanted to write down a lot of things.. but im too tired to write it nicely so i'll just note it in a list format.

-first day of training, while the people are nice and everything, but there is this language barrier.. but im cool with them :)
- touch 'n' go is prob the smartest thing malaysia ever created. kudo's to that. (just having that function here rocks)
- met up with Naz, wins, elaine and mel (well i see mel everyday, we're together lol), and even saw tsan's mom! amir was supposed to be in curve but he took emergency leave. DADDIE, we don't see u nemore... :(. oh, we had a smashingggggggggly good time. misssss you guysss :( i want more hangouts!
-dad's birthday tomorrow, :( im depressed cos i miss my family. and i miss my dad and mom and everyone.
-im signing up for gym tmr. with alot of people going health conscious lately, i think this might work. lol and imma going brokeeee.
-i left my mp3 player that my sis bought me for my graduation in brunei. im boreddddd :(
-i am a vegetarian today. even went to ikea and i didn't even thought about the chicken wings. i was thinking of the fries more.
-that pulls all together 7days of vegetarian. (minus the week in brunei, vegetarian and my family can nvr mix)
-hear this, i quit my rm2.5k job to go for a course that's supposed to get me a job. so sad is that.
imma fking idiot.

i got alot more to say but i discussed with lina.. and its' all good.
i feel so smart now. :)

hahahaha

I love my dad
I love my mom,
I love my sisters,
and I love my brother too... lol

HAPPPPPPPYYYYYYYY BIRTHDAY DADDY!

by the time, i finished this post it was past midnight. lol

Score!

2009-12-04T00:06:00.003+08:00

A little less than six months ago, i was in this state of slight depression, and i spoke of how i would slowly regain my confidence back and how my heart would heal and i climb out of my jealously and depression. and now. i am glad and proud to say that i am finally a graduate! Passed with good marks for the unit that halted my life for 6 mths. :) Medical Microbiology, i have grew to love u in time, and now i am abit sad that i would have to say farewell to you, but hopefully in future i would need the knowledge in helping me pave my future. OTHER THAN THAT! I am a graduate! WOOTS.

:)

Yay!

And also to Elaine! We managed to beat our shadows! And i wish u all the best in your double degree! Hugs! i miss u loads and i am so proud of you for keeping up with ur promise of taking the double degree! Congrats elaine! one more sem!

Lina, the wall had been cleared for u, though it was and still is a hard path for you, but hopefully you will find ur way thru. Hugs! Congratulations on being a graduate! :) I am so proud of you!

and to the rest of my classmates, congratulations if u are graduating, if not, i know how u feel, but don't worry, it will be all worth the effort and depression in the end. *hugs* try and find something to do in the meantime and no, u are not useless. HUGS.

Thank you Dr Stacey for failing me, its a good and terrifying experience, thank you Dr Anne Vaughn for saving me, and Kah Leong too! The awesome demo!

Signing out,
Ginger K. Spice.
lol.

2009-11-25T01:13:00.001+08:00

wow. how things have changed. so many things happened.

i didn't go for the job in the end. now im going for the BeST programme, but it keeps on getting postponed.. it's bcos there is not enough people enrolling! omg. please start as soon as possible? people are getting tired of waiting.

haih..
anyway now im jobless and penniless and bored. and i can't do anything cos im penniless
haha
tmr im going back to promod to kill time!

haih sien tou..

Uncle Kracker - Smile

2009-11-09T22:25:00.001+08:00

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Uncle Kracker, Smile

How long has it been?

Confidence confidence confidence

2009-11-07T23:25:00.001+08:00

Suddenly, the feeling of butterflies, the uncertainty, heart beating fast…

Relax, angie. Repeat after me, everything is going to be alright. It should be good if you prepared yourself.

Right? Monday, 11.30am.

Hope nothing goes wrong and I give my best. It's the first and hope it will be good.

Stem cells… I can remember patho.. I think, hemotopoetic stem cell, mesenchymal stem cells!

Omg.

My first interview, the first opening of my life after Monash… or at least I hope the key fits the lock.

Crosses finger.

This is even more nerve wrecking than exams. Sob. Maybe cos I can crap my way out in exams, and not see the lecturer's reaction, but this one, I'll see the interviewer's reaction. OMG

Calm down. I'm sure I can do it. Confidence!

To lose or not to?

2009-11-07T23:13:00.001+08:00

I have no idea how to react to this… I found one of my pendrive that supposedly got lost in March this year… and in there I found a few things that could have helped me in my previous semester if I had it then. Now I wished I never found it, but yet I am glad that I found it. OMG, this just means that I am such a clumsy untidy stupid idiot. Urghh.

2009-11-04T10:43:00.001+08:00

Who am I to judge? There might be things that we frown upon in society simply because it is not a norm, but norm can be changed, people can change, feelings can too. The me now is different from the me last night, simply because I read the online news, I learned new things, my mind evolved. Be more understanding, and try to listen before judging, or just don't judge at all… remember that Angie!

2009-10-28T05:04:00.001+08:00

I am fucked. Seriously, my exam is this Thursday and I don't think I'm ready for it. Banana!

Sunway Residence SUNWAY UNIVERSITY COLLEGE

2009-10-22T17:55:00.001+08:00

Aka known as the apartment hostel, with an idiot acting at the main warden.

Here's the scenario,

A friend of mine and I wanted to study outside where the environment suits our study needs, so the place is known as the study area, ( first step to studying is to find a good study place), however due to the idiotic curfew which is at 12, we cannot stay outside long enough to achieve our study targets, as the SUN-U residence is not a good place to study, the tables are too small, the living room is super hot even at night, and there are always people hogging the place, and the hostel study room just doesn't do the job. So we decided to stay back till 6am, when the gates are open. However at 4sth, we were too tired and achieved our study target, we decided to go back… but because we didn't have the LATE NIGHT PASS so we had to fill in the form and give our hostel card to the guards (which reason I find incredibly unreasonable).

When I got the card back, I got the 1^st warning letter, which states, " hostelites should return to the Hostel by midnight on weekdays…bla…bla…bla… provided he/she has a late night pass. The late night pass is AVAILABLE at the Hostel Management Office during office hours" [omg I just spotted an English usage error!]

So when I read it, I thought hey… late night pass. SO I went to try to apply for it, this idiot Management warden dude, told me, I cannot get the pass because I want to study outside. Then WHAT THE HECK DOES THIS LATE NIGHT PASS THING DO? So I asked him, why cannot? He said because if they give the late night pass, and if anything happens, they would get in trouble with it. Hence they don't want to give it. Then I argued, if I stayed outside till 6am, wouldn't that be more dangerous? Why stop us from going back to the hostel, isn't going back at 3am more safe than going back at 6am, since I am technically out in the danger zone 3 more extra hours? Plus the danger time are usually after 3am… cos that's when the clubs closes and people leave to go home. Then aren't we more alone and hence in a more dangerous state? What nonsense is he sprouting by saying they would get in trouble if we get in trouble? SO if I get robbed and raped or kidnapped at 4am, because they refused to give the late night pass, then wouldn't they be in MORE trouble with the authorities and with MY PARENTS because they refused me to go back at 3am thus causing me to be kidnapped/robbed/raped?!

If you don't want to give it to any students, THEN WHY CREATE IT IN A FIRST PLACE?! .Insert curse word here.

Okay im not angry enough to write an anger-filled post. Damn.

HAPPY 18th Birthday to:

2009-10-18T03:25:00.001+08:00

DORIS
LIM
JONG
WEI!

To a very smart, intelligent, supporting, sweet, lovely, sensitive sister, I love you. Happy birthday!

Hope you'll have an amazing day and year! J

*hugs*

Thoughts

2009-10-17T08:45:00.000+08:00

My knuckles have tinges of blue-black, a cause of a sudden burst this morning, I've always have this anger issues, that usually ended up with bruised hands, arms. I'll cry and hurt myself, but it's better than hurting someone else right… at least this is my own body. It hurts to type, or drive but I managed.

I am such a mean person, and I just realized that there are so many nice people but I'm hardly at the receiving end of their help, usually I just stare in envy or even put in a snide remark, it is because people think I'm independent? Or am I just a mean person that no one thinks I deserve some help. No one seem to notice, do I hide it so well? The pain in my fingers are just reminders of how alone I really am… and how little people notice me.

Do you notice me? When I walk past you? Do you notice me when I am there?

I don't understand myself, so it's fine if you don't too. I'm alright, I'll keep reminding myself.

This is really the hormones talking.

But I'm not calling out for sympathy; it's just a small snippet of my insecurities, just something I need to write it down, because I'm sick of crying.

Tomorrow's a better day. I'll tell myself that, and if it's not, then the next will be.

Stressed up about…

2009-10-16T02:00:00.001+08:00

...life in general.

Now that it's so near exams period, I find myself more stressed up about getting my CV done properly, applying for job, trying to write a decent cover letter, finding a place to stay than to actually study for my exams. Sob. I'm finding graduation to be really scary.

Finding a job, having to explain to people I failed one unit, thus is doing one unit now, sob it seem abit hard for me.

FIND A JOB ASAP!

I don't want to feel unemployed; I'm too poor like that.

However I still need to pass this goddamn paper.

L I can do this! I just feel like crying now, I think it's the anxiety, stress and the coffee! L

With me

2009-10-13T16:58:00.001+08:00

Haha there is always so much pleasure disturbing your little sister on MSN… why didn't I install MSN earlier?!

Oh well no need to answer, I think I sort of know the answer, I'm LAZY. Haha

2009-10-13T04:51:00.001+08:00

Happy Birthday Justin Lim Dee King

Wish you all the best in everything you do!

To Knock Them Down

2009-10-12T00:26:00.001+08:00

I've been trying unsuccessfully to sign into MSN live Messenger… there must be something or someone in this universe who decided that Angie shouldn't go online, thus making sure that there will be no conversation between anyone with Angie, even though she is online. Sorry, though the person who I feel like talking to doesn't read my blog or anyone's blog for that matter, I'm sure he's online, but I'm not. Oh well! I tried, wanted to write it out in FB, but do I want the whole world to know I can't go on MSN? Hmm... maybe not.

Okay, maybe it's not someone or thing that doesn't want me to go online, it is just that the MSN version that I have is out of date? I need to upgrade it, but due to the oh-so-fast internet line in hostel, I can't! Oh, I know, it must be Jeffery Chia(?) the owner of Sunway Corp, maybe he wants me to study, that's why he decided to 'upgrade' the internet in the hostel, so none of us can go on msn. Hmmm then again, my sister is online in the Hostel… then it must be just my luck. Ok I mean no harm, it's just because I just got off from a ego-booster for the other team's L4D session, I guess they don't have enough ego, that why they put the underdogs together to bully us, I mean that's what bully does right? Making us feel like shit, thus making them feel they are kings, they even had the guts to do the 'fucking' hand sign, I'm sure they think we don't know. Ahh well, it's alright; at least we beat them in that one session…

Michelle sent her resume to 60 audit firms in KL and Selangor, wow right? I mean, I haven't even done anything. Shit, no wonder I feel like crap… Gonna start my studying later, gonna wear the most comfy-est clothes that I have to camp in the library. Shouldn't bring my laptop, but then again I might, maybe then, I can upgrade my MSN… hopefully.

Set them up

2009-10-10T04:49:00.001+08:00

I have resorted to using Microsoft Word to create my blog post now, since it works faster than going to blogger.com and create new post… so now my I's going to be in capital letters woo~!

It was Lina's birthday on Monday, and I think she's really lucky to have so many friends who care about her, don't ever lose hope k? Especially when there are so many people behind your back! J Her classmates were so sweet to actually put up a slideshow showing her photos and ending with a 'we wuv you'… isn't that sweet? Yea, you can say there was a tinge of jealously. :p but Lina! It is true, we wuv you, if not we won't even put in effort to celebrate your birthday, so you are special to all of us!

Lina, being spoilt is one thing, but the privilege be to spoilt is another, plus sometimes it is yours to be spoilt at, so don't apply things that is irrelevant to scenarios that's irrelevant k? J I dunno what I'm saying, but I'm just hoping that I might hit jackpot.

Anyway exam's coming, and my first paper would be on the 29^th October and my LAST paper's going to be on the 12^th November! I'm feeling kinda sad because I'm graduating and it means I have to grow up and earn money and wake up at 7 to go to work and come back at 6 all tired and crashing at 10 like a normal human being, no more being awake at 4am doing shit! L

I'm BROKE! But I got car! J but I'm broke, so it doesn't matter, I still can't fly… thanks mom. :p

Maybe I can go into blogging and maybe earn some money but I'm not the type to show the world what I feel or experience, I'm more selfish than that, I like to keep my memories within the people I wanna share with, plus I don't think people actually read this blog.

Doris broke my Coca Cola glass, so guess where she'll be eating tmr?! McD! I want it back ;p

Oh crap, I'm having a really bad case of stomachache! L ciao, I'm gonna go sayang the toilet abit. urgh

The week

2009-10-04T19:44:00.001+08:00

it took me two days to actually load this page.

yeap. believe it, two days!

that's how terrible the internet in SUN-U Residence in Sunway University College is!

SO TERUK!

now i no mood wanna write already, so tired.

just want to write this down. my MID SEM BREAK WEEK:

Friday: Monash Ball, from 12pm till about 2am...

Saturday, woke up early (like 7am),went to the airport to surprise the parents! (Plan successful, now i can do no wrong.. lol)

Then went to pyramid and exercised the legs and wallet.

Sunday, another early day, woke up at 7.30, went to support the 4th Taekwondo MAPCU competition, stayed till 7pm. After that, went makan with them.

Monday, Lina, Doris and I went to KLCC to go to the Aquaria, had dinner with WaiKitt till 11ish.

Tuesday, went to the hospital cos Lina had this eye infection thingy, then went to Monash for Educate09, after that, GENTING! Stayed up till 5am...

Wednesday: woke up at 11am, to go Genting Theme Park, played till 4pm, left Genting around 6ish. Reach One Utama at 7ish, went for dinner and stayed till 8ish, went bck and met up with the taekwondo peeps, till around 10ish.

Thursday: Went for Rockclimbing at Camp5 in OU, super awesomely tiring and fun, stayed till 6pm. Went for dinner and went back around 8ish for some L4D loving! At 10.30pm, got ready for clubbing at BarCelona, stayed up till about 7am friday, went back and crashed.

Friday: woke up at 4pm, ate, and at 6.30 went for TKD training till about 9...

Saturday: 12.30 am, went for late night movie till about 3. Slept till 11plus and woke up to go back to banting, was in the bus from 1ish till about 3.40pm. Went to grab car and drove back to sunway reached about 5ish. Went to MOnash for assignment till about 8, dinner and then L4D again till about 12.30am...

Sunday: woke up at 7.30am went to taman pertanian in Shah Alam for SkyTrek Adventure, till 4pm. Went for lunch in Pyramid till about 7....

And I'm sick, tired, bruised, broke but had tonnes of fun!!!!! but def, i won't ever wanna pack up my week ever again!

And I got report due tmr, my last one for Monash, and I'm screwing it up again. :S damn.

When I say sick, I really meant sick, flu and sore throat but I've been bulking up on VitC so my throat's so much better. Now only flu.

in the corner

2009-09-10T23:19:00.002+08:00

i knew u were trouble, but i couldn't resist...

time flies by when you are having fun and certainly crawls when u're in big shit.. i know that cos when i was working, august crawled by sooooo slowly, and now, with a blink of an eye, its 10days into september! That's 10days nearer to my parent's coming, 10 days nearer to holidays, 10 days nearer to my carrrr!! :D, 10 days nearer to lina moving out (no curfews for me! cos i got a place to crash! Hopefully!) :D

Whee.. a bit broke now though, sob, and i just saw this cute summer dress in kitschen(?).

Anyway even though things are going well now, i can't help but feel a bit sad, cos the redang trip that i was planning for forever is not going to happen... :( that's because all the people who are supposedly going cannot go, or dunno if they are going, and too much disappointment, and in the end, we decided to cancel the trip. People, if u wanna go, say yes, not erm maybe, i see first, i let u know, i dunno and some bullshit like that.. and some that said ok, and then inthe end cancel on me.. u know how bad that is on me?? so much rejections and i just climbed back up okay, don't la keep making me feel like a complete idiot, i had enough of that.

anyway. since redang is not on, and that time i would have my car already, we (me, doris and Lina) decided to go on a week long adventure, since we've been here for more than 2 years already and there are so many places that we have not yet been to, we decided to dedicate the week long holiday to discover Malaysia. :) we are gonna go and wall climb in ou, go genting and sit outside and enjoy the cool air at 3am ( i know some of u always do that, be thankful okay, some of us nvr even have the chance! don't come to me and boast, that's just plain sad.), then go aquaria, go waterfall, go chilling, go bangsar and shop, go kl... :) Lina's gonna get gps installed in her phone, so hopefully we won't get too lost. and the best part is.... we don't have to beg anyone for transport! HOW BOUT THAT?! it's not like my beloved friends don't wanna bring us arnd, but it's jsut that sometimes it's just better not to, and because i love my friends, thats why i feel so bad having to rely on them and sometimes mafan them... im sure they don't mind, but still. :)

Yeap, Roger, then we can go BKT in klang! Woots! :D anytime! but u drive! :) hehe.. i stress la, drive so far..LOL. (yea yea, i noob so wat?)

now :)

2009-09-04T23:02:00.003+08:00

boo yah..
just had some free time, so i thought heck why not, might as well write something, before i become too distracted. hehe, what can i do, short attention span.

anyway, one of my roommates moved out this morning, last night something epic happened, and it was one hell of an argument, the newly moved out exroommate got bombed by my other roommate! FUh.. i had to hold my desire of jumping out of the bed (cos i was supposedly already asleep, i actually woke up due to the noise) and i had to hold my breath from laughing at what the other roommate said to the exroommate, freakin bombed her to smithereens! lol. and how did i manage to communicate with my sister? i text messaged her even though she's like 1metre away from me! haha...

now i think failing one unit is really a blessing in disguise, :) i get to learn so many things this semester, well not in regards to education but in regards to life... maybe i had to learn it the hard way or maybe the Big Guy above, loves me enough to impart this experience for me to learn and well ithink i did quite well.. maybe except for the procrastinating part..

i wasn't ashamed that i failed one unit, i was more bummed out that i can't graduate, but it is a good thing now, at least i didn't have to go thru the 'okay,,i graduated... now what?' period and i didn't have to waste any time in thinking after i graduate cos i am doing 'all the thinking' now... since i'm not graduating just yet. :) and i don't get depressed thinking about all the what if's and what's not cos i've been thru the depression already, and now i guess i can really quote this from Lina, i am really living in the NOW.

of course this is not a one day thing where everything just turned out right, i went thru the depression period, the self-doubt period, where everything just look so bleak, i went thru the "I am useless, i don't deserve to live", i went thru the 'omg, i'm liveless' and i definitely went thru the stage where i think the world is against me, and i am angry at everyone even for the smallest thing but luckily and slowly, i start to learn to heal. and i say it did take quite long.. slowly the heart healed back to one piece, acceptance took over the doubts, and instead of living in the past with the what if's, i started to see today as a present. Give myself new things to do as a challenge, find back my self esteem, build back the strong girl i was before i was crashed down with a label called 'failure', learning to accept who i am, and learning so many things, learning to accept and be happy and i dare say i am happy right now. thanks so much to those who stuck around and most importantly, enjoy one day at a time and really live in the moment instead of living in doubts.. the moment u decide, it's the moment u'll know everything is really gonna be alright. :)

and i know my sister would definitely say that i was a real total bitch during the 'me-against-the-world' period. ;p

2009-08-17T01:58:00.001+08:00

hmm. i forgot what my blog link is. haha, i had to log into blogger in order to remember it. i think its a sign to stop. lol.

2009-07-12T22:56:00.002+08:00

looking thru facebook, and all i see is graduation pictures of my college mates, i am happy for them, i really am.. but i can't help feeling abit left out.. Frustration really.. i feel frustrated because i was supposed to be graduating too... but now.. i have one more semester to go..

but i should be alright

:(
right?

2009-06-13T02:07:00.002+08:00

despite needing to study desperately, i find myself unable to concentrate at all, my brain feel so stubborn to let anything in, anything related to mbb in! :(

sigh,

this sux.

2009-06-07T22:54:00.001+08:00

i am going to sleep in less than one hour's time. *grins*

i am going to re-regulate my sleeping times, because now, i am nocturnal. seriously. :( maybe i should just be a hairstylist. at least i'm creative. lol. haha sorry, inside joke.

2009-06-04T22:22:00.002+08:00

called the post office, and requested that they send it to the hostel management... luckily maxis's youth club is cheap to called. i called for 10mins (7mins waiting), and i only lost like rm2, which i think is cheap. oh well. better than going to the headquarters in pj or some place somewhere around.

YOUTH CLUB ROCKS!

lol.

MAXIS give me free smses or talk time. please~! haha :)

people bashing

2009-06-04T00:39:00.003+08:00

I can't believe how idiotic some people are! How stupid can u be? No common sense? Mother never teach u ar? Or ur mom babied you too much till u can't even think? Probably think with your ass than that little nut inside your empty pea brain! URGH!

Why call my father? When he is the sender? and I AM THE RECIPIENT! BLOODY IDIOT! SHOULDN'T you CALL the recipient? BECAUSE I AM THE ONE WAITING FOR THE BLOODY LETTER! CALL MY FATHER ALL THE WAY TO BRUNEI FOR WHAT??? MALAYSIA ALOT OF MONEY FOR YOU IDIOT POSTMAN TO CALL IS IT??? CANNOT BLOODY CALL MY STUPID MALAYSIAN NUMBER IS IT??? I GOT TWO NUMBER FOR YOU TO CALL! ONE ALSO CANNOT PRESS IS IT??? i am so angry that caplocks is the way to go! writing normal just doesn't justified how angry i am!

AND THE IDIOTIC THING THAT YOU TOLD MY VERY HANDSOME FATHER IS THAT YOU ARE FROM PETALING JAYA POST OFFICE! I BLOODY GOOGLED PJ POST OFFICE AND THERE IS LIKE 5 BLOODY POST OFFICES IN PETALING JAYA! HOW IDIOTIC ARE YOU!??? IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT!! NOW I HAVE TO GO AND CALL U BLOODY IDIOTS JUST TO FIND MY ONE LETTER!! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN DO ONE SIMPLE THING THAT IS SENDING THAT LETTER TO ME! HOW DUMB CAN U BE? I BET YOU NEVER EVEN SEND IT, JUST THOUGHT OF ASKING ME TO FIND MY LETTER FROM 5 DIFFERENT POST OFFICES. IS IT VERY FUN OF YOU? HAR? EAT FULL ALREADY, NOTHING TO DO IT IS? WANNA CAUSE TROUBLE FOR PEOPLE LIKE ME IS IT? YOU THINK WHAT? I DON'T PMS IS IT? I SWEAR WHEREEVER I GET MY LETTER FROM, THAT POST OFFICE IS GOING TO GET MY WRATH! AND THE BEST PART IS THE LETTER IS NOT FOR ME SOMEMORE! URGH! IDIOTS!

BLOODY HELL, CANNOT CALL ME IS IT? MY PHONE DIDN'T EVEN RING THE WHOLE DAY AND YOU CAN CALL MY FATHER !? IDIOT! IDIOT! URGH.

AND GOT THIS STUPID DEEJAY WHO IS SPINNING IN ONE OF THE CLUBS IN PYRAMID WHO DOESN'T FUCKING KNOW THE SONG 'Poker face!" He dared to tell us, that he don't know the song!! KNN! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN DUDE? UNDER MY GODDAMN SHOE IS IT? I STEPPED ON YOU TILL THE MOST OVERPLAYED SONG IN THE RADIO ALSO YOU DON'T KNOW?! MAHAI~ ITS LIKE ASKING BRITNEY SPEARS WHAT HER BLOODY NAME IS WEI!! IDIOTS!

URGH, there are so many idiots today, that if i individually scold each one, i would be able to write a book titled "Malaysian's Biggest IDIOTS! How to spot them 101!" Then i would encounter even more idiots, then we would have 102, 201, 202..! URGH!
IDIOTS!

SOMEMORE, CAN ASK PEOPLE TO WORK, BUT NEVER TELL WHEN START, HOW TO WORK, OR COME AND I BRIEF YOU ON WHAT TO DO... BLOODY HELL! EVERYTHING I HAVE TO ASK AND WHEN I ASK, SOMEMORE CAN TELL ME NO ANSWER!

AND THEN KAN! AJAK PEOPLE GO DINNER, BUT NEVER TELL ME WHEN YOU GUYS ARRIVE ONE WOR! BLOODY HELL! LIKE THAT LA "FRIEND!" SCREW YOU MAN! I WOULD NEVER GIVE A SINGLE SHIT ABOUT U EVER AGAIN, YOU CAN FAIL MONASH FOR ALL I CARE! MA HAI!! NORMAL CURTESY ALSO NEVER LEARN. U THINK U VERY BIG LA, LIKE I GIVE A SHIT NOW COS I WOULD HAVING SO MUCH FUN HANGING OUT WITH MYYY FRIENDS WHO I LOVE! I sayang Lydia, Lina, Mel, Mj, Lyon, Amir, Tsannie, Kiz!! FUCK U MAN, SERIOUSLY, FOR ALL THE SHIT I WENT THROUGH, THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME LA! SOHAI!

*edited: i deleted some parts of my bashing, because i have no right to say your friends, its up to you to befriend who u want, and i have no right to judge u on that, even if u do have a bad sense of taste. i apologize for judging u. But from now on, u won't be anyone important to me at all*

and i don't care what the hell u think of me.. Because if u judge me, u won't be my friend.

Man, I have never been so angry since so long!!